Dialogue with God.
(Maybe I’m 10 yrs
old)
Can you believe me
Laurie?
Uhmm, maybe? Can you help me?
Absolutely! Can you trust me?
I’ll try to?
Smile from God.
I see you kinda, and
maybe trust you a little.
(Years go by)
(Teens to 20ish)
Lord are you there,
really?
Yes always.
Why the pain?
Silence from God.
Are you real?
Can you believe me?
Yes, will you help me
believe you?
Yes always!
(More years pass
20’s…1…2,..3 etc.. )
Lord I need to know
if you are really real?
I am!
How do I know for sure?
Keep asking.
Ok.
(A few more years go
by)
No more alcohol for
joy and peace I know you are the better source for this!
Yes I am.
I quit…. Where are
you?!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m here with you.
Where is joy and
peace?!
In me.
How do I get it?
Silence from God….
(A yr or so later..)
Why am I so
depressed, discontent and dead inside?
Can you trust me?
Yes, I will. Will you please give me relief and some
joy? I haven’t been drinking I’ve been waiting for you!!!!!!!?
Yes! Here is a hunger for my truth… read on…
I’ll reveal to you my love in Jesus’ life.
Oh my goodness! I love this. The bible never was this exciting to me ever!
I’m giving you
revelation!
Thank you… so I can’t
give myself the revelation?
Hell to the “know”…
revelation comes only from me.
You wanted this and
your heart was receptive to the true gospel.
Thank you Lord so
much for Jesus…. I love Jesus!
(A few more yrs go
by..28, 29… etc….)
Where are you Lord,
I’m still struggling so much but I know you are good!
Can you trust me
more?
Yes… with what?
Will you do something
that makes you scared?
Yes! No wait. That!????? No way… ok…scared..
you’ll help me I know.
(One day goes by)
I can’t do this I
need to pass it off!!!!… frantic phone calls… a word aptly spoken from a true
sister in Christ….
(I was asked to lead
worship for a small group and this freaked me out… insecurity galore! Very afraid! She said something that
challenged my inner spirit “you can’t lead where you are not going.” This spoke volumes to me and basically
said to me that if I would authentically worship God myself as I led with the
music that I chose to use for leading the worship sets, then God would give me
the ability and strength, little did I know I would find great Joy in His
spirit and find a taste of freedom that I’d never known existed. This went on for over a decade and God
taught me much about surrendering to him.
He never forced me, only asked me.)
(around 33 ish… etc…
)
Lord, I’m still so
restless. I haven’t touched,
needed or wanted alcohol and have only sought you for Joy and peace but I still
feel so empty and often scared.
I’m tired.. So tired of being scared.
(A book and word
aptly spoken, ”Practicing the Presence of God”)
I began seeking His
presence and truth with all my heart.
March 3rd
3:00 in the morning 2002… He touched me with His love it is to this day the
most amazing experience I’ve ever had in God! It’s indescribable other than that I felt his love for me
and loved others in a divine way. I continued to seek his touch for years and
learned that I must seek His face now and not his hand if I wanted to go
further with Him.)
Lord! Please I need your touch again! I’ve been ruined by your presence I
can’t enjoy normal living. I need your manifest presence again please please
please!
Silence…
(A couple of years
later)
Lord?
Seek my face not my
hand.
Ok… show me how..?
(More and more
revelation from glory to glory and even some manifestations but never as
intense as march 3rd.)
I was becoming
familiar with God now and our dialogue changed.
Isn’t that funny
Lord?
I hear Him laughing…
in the spirit.. can’t explain it.
I just love her Lord.
He speaks insights
about her and we enjoy her together.
Help me love this
person Lord.
He gives me insights
and opportunities to love.
Thank you so much
Lord.. I’m so blessed to love and serve her and you.
(A few years of this..My
family, friend’s, neighbors, prisoner’s and amazing love!)
The dialogue is less
wordy and more feel.
Seeking
Finding
From Glory to Glory
I love to know you
Lord. How lovely is your dwelling
place help me to know you more and more.
You are the treasure that I seek.
I trust you with this journey with all the pain and pure delight
together.
Can you trust me
Laurie?
Yes! Will you help me?
Absolutely. You know
I will!
I know
We both smile at each
other.
Three years ago,
around 41-ish, He asked me to trust him with something very precious to me, I
barely said yes…. I was confused for three years… I learned a lot about myself
and Him. He revealed deep doubts
and replaced them with trust. I
would have not said yes had I’d known the loneliness and emptiness that I’d
face all over again. The storm has subsided and love and joy seem to be more
constant and less like a roller coaster now.
What do you think
about that storm Laurie?
I think you protected
my loved ones and asked me to give up a cherished friendship.
It will be whole one
day.
Yes, I trust you for
this Lord.
We both smile!
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