Unconditonal Love and Grace....

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Unconditional Love and Grace.

Unconditional love is when you are loved no matter what. You are loved freely with no expectations or any needs anticipated to be met from this person who loves you. Unconditional love does not NEED you, but rather wants to just love you because you're you. Unconditional love has the power to love you no matter where you are in life bad or good.

            Wouldn't the world be an amazing place if we all had the power to love unconditionally?  This kind of love makes me feel safe, secure, empowered, and fills me with a value and love for myself. When I am around people like this I feel empowered, refreshed and so loved that I have a desire to go pay it forward.

Where does this love come from? The only power source that I've experienced that can love me unconditionally, has been the God of creation. I personally do not know of any other place that holds this power source. The people that I feel unconditional love from would probably agree that they have this love because of the same power source through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Why is it that not all professing Christians including myself, can exude and giveaway love unconditionally all or even most of the time? I believe it's because when we are getting our needs met from God presently and for the present moment this is what links us into his source of love. I personally, am not linked into God's unconditional love for me all the time. I strategically put myself around people who are mature and filled to over flowing with this unconditional love. I believe this is because they spend a lot of time with the power and person of unconditional love themselves.

To love unconditionally means that you have your all your needs met from this same love source yourself.  It seems mysterious how God meets the needs of every kind of human being. This is why we cannot find a formula, system or particular plan of getting our needs met from God. He does give us a choice to receive this love or not and it wouldn't be unconditional otherwise. What could make us unable or resistant to this love? I believe our fears of being hurt and rejected is what keeps us from knowing a God of love.  To trust God or anyone for that matter takes time and proven trust worthy experiences from this person. Getting our needs met from God looks and feels different for all of us individually. It is a mysterious concept that can only be revealed by the Holy Spirit as to how to get all of our needs met from an all-providing God.

Each day seems to bring another mystery of how this is going to work for me in my life. If I allow myself to stay connected to my most deep feelings and on a moment to moment basis discuss, bring to, and allow myself to receive wisdom from the Almighty God, this seems to be the only formula that I've come up with thus far.

This is a beautiful journey to be on and at times it can be frustrating, lonely and completely confusing. I am learning to bring even these very feelings and thoughts to my Savior Jesus as well. I have experienced his unconditional love and even in times of darkness, mistrust, and pain I choose to believe that he is always there, doing something wiser in my soul than I could even imagine myself.

I think when we have grown and matured in unconditional loves embrace, we can love even those of us unconditionally, who may have not come to live in this place quite yet.  This is called grace and don’t you just love to be around other people who are empowered to give you grace?  I give my deepest gratitude to those who have loved me unconditionally over time and or even once in my life.  Praise be given to God who is the author and creator of this kind of love.

Grace Pours Down...~by Laurie Jackson

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Grace Pours Down… ~by Laurie Jackson

We all have regrets about hurting others and this is what this blog is about. Hurt people hurt people but healed people can bring healing to others.  I went running today and I usually have a great run but once in awhile a nasty, perverted truck driver will honk his obnoxiously loud horn as they pass by me.  The insufferable sound of their horn sends a trigger of fear down my spine so much so that I decide that flipping them off as I look back with disdain about the pervert that I believe them to be, can falsely satisfy my wounded soul. 

I woke up today choosing to feast from Gods table of grace and strength.  I actually had a beautiful time with Him and he spoke to me as the gracious, loving father that He is.  Then I put my worship music on and went out running together with the gracious Lord Jesus that abides with us all through his Holy Spirit.  I was truly in communion with him and having a day of rejoicing in his saving grace. 

I’ve been reading some old books by Brennan Manning that talk about our true selves and our false selves.  He describes the true self as the child and the false self as the imposter. I also get much wisdom from when our 13-year-old son quotes Yoda. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads us to the dark side. ~ Yoda”

To make a long story short and get my confession out there with the hope of revealing the abundant grace that God extends to me even in my woundedness, I will begin with the obnoxious horn sound that startled me from my head to my toes at about mile 4.5 this morning.  This in sighted enough anger in me to turn back and go to the window of the driver and attempt to shame them and give the what for!  I turned around after the horrendous sound of the horn caused it’s infamous trigger and looked at the driver with “her” window down and while frowning I said something like… why do you guys do that?!!!!!!  It is so disturbing!!!… Gosh!!! Could you not do that and then pointing dramatically to my heart as if her horn could’ve killed me right then and there on the street.  I was transformed immediately as I saw the kindess in her eyes and felt so repentive of the thought that I had judged her and was now in the height of trying to shame her right there in the street.  She didn’t deserve this!  The realization hit me instantly that her intention was NOT to startle me or bring me harm, but rather to just celebrate with her coveted horn sound, that I was out there running in the pouring down rain.  I felt ashamed of myself.  Shaming others ultimately comes from the shame we feel in ourselves.  She was just like me and in need of grace, love and joy for the day.  I wanted to run back to her and apologize for shaming her and misunderstanding her pure intentions.  I prayed that I would see her again and have an opportunity to apologize and explain that I am a wounded soul with a fear trigger from numerous issues that God has been faithfully healing me of year by year and even continues to do this day. 

I continued to think about her and all the other truck drivers.  I prayed blessings on her and that maybe a fellow grace follower would extend love and blessing to her that I wished I had given.   I then realized that I have been running this same route for years and since we live close to some truckers they probably feel like they know me personally.  I just began to cry about flipping off innocent people that are just like me as they walk around wounded and in need of Gods grace, love and mercy.  I came to a revelation that most of these truck drivers are not perverted and are all probably honking for the same reason this lady honked, to celebrate my run with me.  Even if some were perverted and honking for “that” reason, ultimately they are just like me, a wounded soldier in need of Gods grace and love. 

I mostly wanted to write this to air out my soul but also I know I learn about Gods love and grace mostly from hearing stories that are genuinely from my fellow brothers and sisters hearts.  I love honest and child-like people.  I want to remain here and forfeit the pompous ass defense mechanisms that tend to be triggered by obnoxious horn sounds.  If I have PTSD then God will continue to heal me.  He ended up consoling my heart and challenged me to continue to walk in his grace for the day.  God reminded me that I was a wounded child and my response comes from a deep reservoir of fear that still tries to protect itself from pain with faulty defense mechanisms that flip people off and or try to shame them. 

God told me to keep running and maybe the next time I am startled by the horn sound, what will spill out of my heart would be a pure non-judgmental attitude of love and grace for each and every precious truck driver.  I am earnestly sorry to all my truck driver friends out there.  Hurt people hurt people but healed people bring healing to people. I will pray about my prejudice attitude toward truck drivers and in fact after seeing my sweet sister this morning, so contrite and shamed by me, I hope I have ditched this prejudice attitude forever!  The journey of being the beloved child never gets old or stale and it is always an adventure! The conversation with our heavenly father is a moment away.  I am so glad that I remained child-like and didn’t attempt to earn my forgiveness but rather continued to face my saviors face as the remorseful child on her gracious fathers lap.  He is always engaging and gracious and leads us to the truth about our selves and about His deep love and grace for us.  His grace keeps pouring down on us all.  Thank you Jesus for your grace.

The pursuit of happiness....

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An Intervention….

The way the truth and life…

1 Peter 5:6-9
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, 7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 [a]But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your [b]brethren who are in the world.

Why do we resist this spiritual realm? It took quite a bit of soul searching to even come to the realization that the spiritual realm is just as real, if not more then my world was around me.  It took a lot of wrestling, humility, surrender, dreadful quietness, time and lots of pain facing to find this place but anything as wondrous as the sweet presence of God is worth it all.

“There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still.”

~ Corrie ten Boom

I have watched how my life can fall apart at times over and over because of my own arrogance and blindness. When I finally humble myself and get a whiff of sober mindedness I come to a realization that I am part of creation who has a creator and this makes me come to my senses. Typically I have to put down my vices, which has NEVER been easy and allow myself to get quiet and still so I can hear God for spiritual guidance.  I have been so restless and distracted at times in my life that doing this felt like a type of hell itself.

...A restless soul in the storm of distraction in the middle of a sea of discontent…

I have seen pride or rather a deep-rooted self-sufficiency, in my own life over and over.  I have also seen God gently and lovingly reveal His ways, truth and life when I finally arrive at the end of my own so called resources.  Being humble and contrite before God is not in my nature.  I usually have to ask God to help me humble myself before him and open the eyes of my heart, but I believe God is glad when I ask for His help even to do this. I have found that my most important needs in life will not and cannot be met or filled by any other but God himself. We were created to know Him and be reconciled back to Him.  When we find this place there will be a type of fulfilled hiding place in our hearts that can never be taken away from us no matter how far we may stray from His truth.  This hiding place lives inside all of us and is the power of love, life and peace.   

Even the demons believe God is real!  I don’t think that just knowing God is real can change our lives for the good!  I do believe that endeavoring to seek and trust the one and only true loving God can be the beginning of wisdom and lead us to an abundant life.  You can seek another God but it doesn’t mean it will be the real one. I am so confident that if a person is honestly seeking the truth that they will run into Jesus.   Some people say they have peace apart from the only true God who is revealed through Jesus Christ, but if you look into their teachings for life they are almost the exact same teachings of wisdom that Jesus taught us to live!  We can always benefit from Gods ways… even if we don’t give Him credit. This is just how humble and gracious He is!

Romans 3:23 The message version:

“But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. ²²The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but also for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between them and us in this. ²³Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, ²⁴God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ.”

God is not afraid of our doubt. He does not need us to believe in Him for Him to be real!  He wants us to wrestle and work out our beliefs in Him and know His truth so we can live in an abundance of freedom. Life can be full of fear and trembling and this is when we must choose to work out the gift of salvation that has been freely given to us all through Jesus Christ.  He is not into us faking it! You can’t fake freedom, joy, love and peace very well anyway and certainly not for long.  I found that He was very real years ago but just having an encounter with God and thereby believing He is real was not enough to enjoy the fruit of His spirit of love, joy and peace.  To truly trust God requires a real and authentic relationship with Him.  In order to have any meaningful relationship you have to believe a person exits right?  This may take some wrestling but God is not keeping himself from us nor is he hiding himself from us.  He is only waiting for his people to become humble and in His awesome wisdom He chooses to reveal His truth at the right time.  This humbling process continues as the creation seeks to know their creator and as the creator seeks to reveal Himself to His creation.  Unfortunately, this all comes to an abrupt stop when we do not choose to humble ourselves before Him. When we are full of pride He doesn’t forsake us, thank goodness, but He waits for our hearts to be humble, contrite, ready and open to His revelations. There is no other way for us to hear Him. 

The truth is that we are all his creation!  We are all loved and cherished by Him.  These truths must be revealed individually to each one of us.  He continues to reveal His truth to me as I humble and seek Him.  I don’t like when my life goes back into a prideful and distracted place because I lose the awareness of the sweet presence of His Spirit of peace, joy and true love.  God’s ways are not our ways and to trust God doesn’t mean your life will be saccharine and smooth sailing but He does promise the important stuff to be evident in our lives.  Who doesn’t long for love, joy and inner peace? Sometimes He allows and even brings us through dark valley’s to answer our prayers of knowing more truth.  Pride is a life of believing we are self-sufficient but humility is the realization that the creation needs the creator to even exist. 

He has given ample evidence to His true nature through the life of Jesus Christ.  Some of us continue to ignore His beckoning and His urgent call to come to know who we truly are and who He truly is. The more self-actualized and true to ourselves we become the more we will be able to connect with our creator.  Also the more we connect with our creator the more we will connect with who we truly are.

Do we really think that what we can see touch and feel is all that exists?!  What about wind?  What about breaking wind?  It stinks doesn’t it?!  Maybe these are our inner demons… okay; I admit this is inserted for comedic relief.  The other day I was talking to someone about God and they asked me a question.  “What about science?”  God is not opposed to science and God created everything science is discovering but many scientists will admit and tell you they are only working with hypothesis and still trying to figure it all out.  Many scientists have turned to God in awe and wonder because of their own discoveries that they have found in this universe.  The design is just all too intelligent to ignore further thought and explanations.   

2 Corinthians 4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Writing this boldly and admitting that you believe this does not make one popular in the world’s eyes, but knowing and putting your trust in God can bring us to a life of love, joy and peace we are all truly longing for! Once you know something, you can’t un-know it.

James 4:6
But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."

1 Thess 5:19

 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench (grieving to sorrowful tears) not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings.

I don’t live like this everyday and in fact I complain and doubt God much of the time but it doesn’t mean He isn’t the way, truth and life.  Believing, trusting and seeking God has been my only reprieve in life and has brought me the greatest peace, joy and love that I could have ever imagined. 

Let every knee bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is indeed the Lord of all creation! He lives!

Maybe It’s Not What You’re Eating, But What’s Eating You!

Maybe It’s Not What You’re Eating, But What’s Eating You!

Laurie Jackson~6/15/2013

So frequently when we are frustrated with our weight and or our health issues, we fail to look at the deeper and often overlook the root cause of our problem.  We try to over come our weight issues by obsessing even more about what we eat, how much we eat and when we should eat.  There is wisdom as to how to be healthy and it is much deeper then just your fork and spoon.

Usually the reason we have gotten into a trap of unhealthy habits is not simply because of what we are eating, but rather what is eating us!  We almost always have an underlining issue that we are ignoring, unaware of or in denial that we have.

            The best way to approach a better diet is to look at what is not getting satisfied in our lives.  Typically we will over eat to substitute some basic needs that are not being met.  We may try to get others to meet our needs. This will never work and is not the remedy ever!  Usually the next best thing is food!  Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves that may lead us to the way of freedom.

1)   What’s really bothering me?

2)   Do I need help figuring this out? (It’s the emotionally “healthy” people that will seek out counsel)

3)   Do I have the ability to counsel myself? (We often underestimate our own insights about ourselves)

4)   Am I really hungry?

5)   Am I bored?

6)   Am I doing the things that I enjoy?

7)   Am I doing the things that are deeply important to me?

8)   Am I spending time with healthy people?

9)   When I am sabotaging my diet, am I ignoring, running from or denying something?

10)         Am I lying to myself?

11)         Can I hear my inner most thoughts?

12)         What is God telling me?

13)         Do I love myself?

14)         Do I give myself grace?

15)         Do I treat myself kindly?

16)         Do I talk to myself gently?

17)         When I am eating, am I content, happy and peaceful?

These are some simple questions that can help us get our lives back to a stable center.  Usually after doing some basic self-counsel, which we are all more then capable of doing for ourselves, we will come to a place of peace.  We typically can stave off a binge or craving, just by taking a pause and asking ourselves some questions and answering as honest as we can possibly answer.

Another method that also works tremendously well is to write out these questions in a type of dialogue.  If you are a spiritual person, you can write a dialogue between you and God.  You may be amazed at what you think you are writing to yourself, only to realize you just had a divine conversation with the best and wisest counselor that you will ever have!  Plus it’s all free!

I hope this helps.  Enjoy your journey! 

Join In The Celebration!

Running Revelations  ~ by Laurie Jackson 4/25/2012

The Music’s All Around Us… Just Listen… Join In The Celebration!

So I went out for a gorgeous run this morning. I had no thought for how fast or long I would go.  I just wanted to celebrate the day.  Listening to our daughters play list today was so inspiring and a much needed change from the same old music I’ve been playing because I hadn’t gotten around to loading her songs on my I-pod. 

Today I woke up with God speaking to me and asking me to join in the celebration.  I knew exactly what He meant because He had spoken to me about this many times before. 

Joining the celebration is to know and trust all that Christ has done for us.  This is a journey and revelation I believe an individual must personally go to their designer about.

Speaking of a personal designer!  On my run today I felt that the Spirit of the living God was pointing out how no one was running in front of me or behind me while I was running. I wasn’t alone but on my own individual journey.  Enjoying the safety of the people in the cars passing by.  Immensely enjoying the music I was listening to on my I-pod created by amazing musicians! Thank God for music!  I was not isolated from Gods people but I was on my own journey that was paved just for me!  I heard God say something like this to me.

“Isn’t it so freeing to be on your own individual journey that I personally designed for you?  There is no pressure to perform for anyone or keep up with anyone.  You are not striving to imitate anyone else’s design.  You are not on any one else’s journey but the one I’ve designed especially for you.  Aren’t you glad you asked your own designer and creator, about who I truly made you to be, instead of staying in a place where you are frantically trying to please and impress everyone around you?  Welcome to the truth that sets you free.  I’m so elated that you are joining in this celebration that I planned for you today!” ~ God

Just after I heard God say this to me I heard this on our daughters playlist from her August Rush album…. “The music’s all around us, just listen.” 

Running In the Wrong Place? Different seasons and a few takeaways! By Laurie Jackson 4/4/2013

Running In the Wrong Place?  Different seasons and a few takeaways!

By Laurie Jackson 4/4/2013

            So I went on a short run today for my morning dose of serotonin and my daily bread.  Today I live in Alaska and it is empirically spring here!  I had a very well thought out strategy today!  I went slightly earlier so I could avoid the thawed out mini oceans and the muddy mire that threatens to digest my entire shoe, with or without my foot!  This malicious mud monster enjoys it either way!  As my adrenaline began to pump and life began to course through my body, I couldn’t help but see the numerous life lessons that awaited me at every corner! 

Number one, when you are running outdoors, different seasons bring different navigational challenges.  This winter, with the help of my good friends, Dianna and Katie, who encouraged me immensely to overcome the obstacle of “believing” I would freeze to death if I ran outside at 10 below!  I finally did it once just to prove to myself and my relentless friends that I was sure I would hate it!  To my surprise but certainly not theirs, I realized I had kept myself in a cage the many previous winters and I was finally free from the fear of 10 below!  I loved it!  The sun is crisp and the extra serotonin made winter my friend and not my foe this year!  To my Alaskan friends get out there, you’ll love it!  Spring is lovely on the other hand.  It was 27 ABOVE zero today!  The navigational challenge of spring is tricky here in Alaska.  It’s indeed warmer BUT you MUST keep a close eye with each step forward.  You cannot deviate from this, as rivets from dried out mud, now frozen, could cause you to sprain an ankle very easily. There is tons of ice to avoid that may or may not sink you down two feet under in water.  You can never tell how weak or strong the ice is here in Alaska at this time of year.  So the trick is to constantly find a sure place to confidently put each foot, every single step that you take!  This can look and feel like an obstacle course and takes complete concentration.  A positive attitude would say, “Good! This is developing new muscles and keeping your brain sharp!”  I look like I’m doing an insanity work out, as I run down the road dodging constant obstacles of ice, mud and water.  This season will pass and summer running will bring its own rewards and be more meditative, faster and even warmer without these particular obstacles, but for now, I’m enjoying this season and getting the most out of it!

      Secondly, while I run, I often wear my sunglasses to help with the wind and sun glare.  As my face heats up and I am looking toward the sun, the evaporation causes my glasses to fog up. Remember, I just said that in the spring you couldn’t take your eyes off your feet for even one second!  So I reach up and quickly remove the eyewear, so I can have a clear perspective.  This parallel can go really deep, but lets just say that sometimes in life we have to look at things differently.  When you’re facing the sun, it’s nice and warm on your face but when you are running and your run is challenging you, this may cause you to HAVE to remove your former perspective.  Do you get this?!  I’m not going any further here with this.  It can be difficult to take off a former perspective on things.  Especially when my sunglasses cover up my smeared mascara, my unwashed face and it’s inconvenient to take ‘em off right now while I’m running!  This will just take a second as the condensation lifts off almost immediately and I can place them back on really soon. Hang in there life will soon make more sense.  

      Thirdly, when I go out for a run I often observe two types of drivers.  Some drivers move their cars out of my way and even back up just to let me pass by, as if I’m the queen of England!  I always feel so honored and I give them thumbs up and sometimes even two thumbs up!  Once in awhile I will get drivers that can’t stand that pedestrians have the ride away, or in this case the run away.  I am generally careful with traffic patterns and because I am a driver myself, I can think like a driver.  If I see that they can’t take the turn out because of on coming traffic I will go ahead and use that moment to cross by.  It’s simple, kind and rational.  But to a driver who hates you for no reason they will either flip you off for thinking you are a royal heir to the thrown or spin out just to make sure you know how mad they are at you.  I usually say a little prayer for them because I know what it is like to be angry and sad inside.  For the most part I typically see the drivers that insist on pulling the royal carpet out for me as I pass by!  I always feel great on my runs so they get the reward of thumbs up for what it’s worth. 

      Finally, in the spring in Alaska sometimes you have to run in the wrong place or rather an unlikely or unfortunate place.  Like Moses parting the Red Sea, or Gandolf and or like Jim Carrey, in his old 80’s movie called the Truman show, where he completely stopped the traffic, as he was figuring out that something weird was happening.  If you live in Alaska, you know that I am not exaggerating when I say that in the springtime we have some semi flooding going on.  So for a runner, that refuses to be confined to the treadmill, you have to break the rules.  You will simply have no other option.  There is only one place I can go and that is in the middle of the road.  I’m not talking about a highway, just the back roads. This will just take a second if the cars would just wait one minute I’ll run even faster through and then they can have their turn.  Today I did just this.  The Red Sea was parted right down the middle.  On either side was, no exaggeration, about 3 feet of water and a thin line in between where an avid runner could quickly sneak through.  Now, these back roads are not that busy, so there is always a moment that I can squeeze through.  Today I went for a run close to or around the school drop off time.  I didn’t want to cool down too much longer, when I motioned with my hand to an oncoming car that I was going to take my turn and run through.  They seemed to be obliged.  Did they have a choice?  Nope, I took my royal self, crown and all, in between the two gulfs of water.  I ran faster and harder to be fair and then motioned some nice gestures, with a smile as I pointed to the water flow to be sure they understood my reason for running in the middle of the street.  The take-away here is something that I’ve been going through the last few years.  Sometimes life forces you to do things that SEEM like you’re on the wrong path.  But with the right perspective and understanding you can see that sometimes you have to run between the two gulfs of water and stop a small amount of traffic, just for a moment to accomplish what you need to accomplish.  It’s the journey of life and it brings lots of rewards, challenges, and different navigational directives, but the run is worth it and makes for a much better day in the “long Run of life!”

1) In certain seasons of life you will need to navigate differently and face many

            obscure trials and obstacles that are unknown to you.  A friend of mine is

            Inspiring me every day as she is going through a very difficult trial.  A verse

     She posted was this one: Joshua 1:5 God tells us that he will always be with us

      And will never leave us even in the very difficult seasons of our lives.  Thank

      You Nancy for showing us all what Love and Faith look like!

2) Take off your glasses and look at things differently!  Sometimes life will force

      us to remove our former perspective.  Things will fog up!  The very simple

      answer is to look at things differently and take off your previous perspective!

      your obstacles may put you in a vulnerable place but you will see clearly and

      be able to finish your personal run of life.

3)   You will have negative and positive people in your life at all times.  Your haters and your helpers in life.  How to deal with your haters.  Forgive them! They really don’t understand what they are doing.  Cling to your helpers for dear life! Give ‘em a thumbs up, no wait, two thumbs up on your run and thank them profusely!

4)   Finally, sometimes what looks like you are going the wrong direction to some onlookers may actually be the only way to go and in fact, the right way to go in that particular season for your own personal run in life! Isaiah 40:41

Risky business ~ by Laurie Jackson

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“With the risk of being known comes the risk of being misunderstood.”

I posted this on face book today and couldn’t help thinking about all that this means to me.  I felt like writing about it, plus it helps me process my own thoughts as I write them out. 

             If I die knowing that I’ve been my true self, I’ll feel I’ve done what I was made to do, which was to be who God made me to be.  The people I feel mostly loved by are the ones who have taken the time and have the patience and wisdom to understand me.  The people who do this in general are patient, willing and have the power to extend grace. I believe the only way we can extend these good virtues are if we’ve received them for ourselves. The most loving person of all must know you better then you know yourself, have all wisdom and complete understanding… of course I’m talking about God.  This is why God can love us so completely but we can only love him partly.  We just don’t have total omniscience, wisdom and the understanding to do any better.  I believe this is what God is teaching us through his Holy Sprit day to day, to know Him is to Love Him. He has been Misunderstood more then any of us.  My friend Darin Hufford, penned one of the best books I’ve ever read called, The Misunderstood God.  I loved every bit of it!  I’ve been totally frustrated with God and His ways at times and I’m certain I will go through this again, but so far I just end up loving Him all the more after a hard trial, task or wilderness season.

            Identity has been a huge issue in my life albeit to a fault at times.  I’ve always wanted to know my self, motives and purpose for life more than anything else.  I’ve also sought to be perfectly known only to never accomplish this and cause much frustration for myself.  This is where grace and mercy must become a strong force.  To have true intimacy is dangerous but can be tremendously rewarding.  I believe in healthy boundaries, as my personality tends to want to tell all, I’ve had to learn the hard way.  Wisdom will guide us to guard our hearts at times as well as teach us much more in regard to healthy boundaries, especially those of us whose boundaries have been personally violated at any given time.  This is more then likely all of us.

            This seems so sad for God because I don’t feel we people have the full capacity to love Him completely.  The verse 1 Corinthians 13 makes us realize that we will one day see him face to face and be complete in our faith, hope and love! Then I believe we will love God completely and for who He is! We will love Him so completely and so perfectly because He will completely be known and understood by us! Mysteriously we will, in a sense, be swallowed up and consumed by Love Himself. 

I’m not so into being pure that tends to make me religious, pious and fake but I’m into being real, this always leads me to the truth and you know what that does right?  Sets us Free!  I used to be completely disconnected with my true feelings for reasons that are deep, boring and dealt with for the most part, plus this blog is not about all that healing stuff.  When I was disconnected I heard the Lord speak to me in my heart and tell me to become connected to my real feelings.  This was a long and often terrifying process but yet the beginning of a real authentic relationship with God as well as myself.  At first this didn’t help with other relationships except the one I had with God but in the long run it’s been the biggest reward in my life.  As God adds wisdom and more health to my life this journey seems to become even more fruitful! Life can feel so hard sometimes and I’ve even blamed God for not understanding me. LOL!  That didn’t go over well because I knew deep inside that this was a goofy thought.  But He loves when we hash stuff out with him with our true thoughts and feelings. He already knows what we are thinking and feeling so its important we come to Him completely honest.  He didn’t create robots but rather real people, with real hearts, opinions and we’ve all been given each the same amount of faith. It seems like the more connected I am to my true self, the more connected I can be with God, just because I’m conversing on a pure and honest level.

  I suppose we just need to allow Him to take us by the hand and keep walking with Him as He does the real work in us. Sometimes He has to stop with us, wait with us, watch us turn the other direction and finally He will often carry us too. I feel sad that I’ve caused my savior grief by not trusting Him, even though I realize now, that He can not only handle it but that He understands why I have acted the way I have. He walks with me and He talks with me and tells me I am His own. It is good to be known so well and still completely, totally and so lavishly loved at the same time!