Victim Vs Victor:
I found myself blaming others for my problems yet again. I knew this was wrong and simply not wise. I do what I always do. I googled! “How to quit blaming others for your problems.” I found a good article but it didn’t capture me at the heart of my issue. Plan B didn’t work so I went to plan A. J I asked God about it! He said something that got straight to the heart of me, of course. He said: “blaming others requires a victim mentality.”
I continued to think and ponder this all day. I know people who live and breathe the victim mentality. I didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. I adamantly forced myself to stop having a victim mentality. I was surprised and shocked with how easy and quick it was to switch my thoughts from victim to victor. All I had to do was what I’ve done many other times and rely on a power greater then myself. Suddenly I had hope for my situation. I couldn’t believe how quick I went from victim to victor. At the core of who I am, I realized I am a victor and NOT a victim.
A victim comes from a belief of powerlessness and shame! A victim has no power but their own and depending on how they feel that day, they may be very unstable and wishy -washy about life because unless they resolve their own powerlessness, will forever be a victim. A victim blames others or circumstances for all their problems because it helps them feel a “false” sense of power. A victim is self centered and self focused because, yet again, their only hope is from their sorry selves and since they’re “hopeless” they really have no hope at all. A victim will use others and try to manipulate hope from an empty source just to make them selves feel hopeful. It’s a dead-end of course. A victim feels that they are not "allowed" to have boundaries. A victim will use the guise of helping others from a place of pity, powerlessness and hopelessness toward the other person. A victim can only see others as a victim as well. They may say to themselves, “That person has it good because their circumstances are better.” A victim lives from a place of self- hate and self -loathing. A victim is ultimately full of pride and self -sufficiency and it doesn’t work well for them. Dr Phil may ask them, “how’s that work’n for ya?” A victim chooses to live in a matrix of lies!
The VICTOR can see the true source of power that required humility to un-blind them. They can see a revelation of an overcoming spirit full of love and life from this humbled state. Their power comes from a place apart from themselves. A victor finds hope because they’ve humbled themselves to something greater then themselves. A victor doesn’t need to live in denial about their mistakes because they live from hope and love. They see their mistakes as just mistakes and they don’t NEED them to be an extension of who they are at the core. They’ve given up their powerlessness for something more powerful. Love! They believe they are loved! A victor can help another not based on pity but from a true place of “power.” A victor may or may not help a person the way they expect, because they can see deeper into the issues. Remember, the victor doesn’t need lies to hide behind. They’ve faced their shame and chose love, power and a sound mind.
When you’ve been raised un-healthy and have been truly victimized you may take on a victim mentality because it is very painful to face some memories and often the shame seems unbearable. Shame is a sign that you were not created to be involved it whatever it was that caused the SHAME in the first place. It’s a sign of how frick’n valuable you really are. We were created for beauty and goodness! The core of all human beings is made for royalty! We are magnificent and created for love, victory and peace!
Peace out! All for one and one for all! J
