“With the risk of being known comes
the risk of being misunderstood.”
I posted this on face book today and couldn’t help thinking
about all that this means to me. I
felt like writing about it, plus it helps me process my own thoughts as I write
them out.
If
I die knowing that I’ve been my true self, I’ll feel I’ve done what I was made
to do, which was to be who God made me to be. The people I feel mostly loved by are the ones who have
taken the time and have the patience and wisdom to understand me. The people who do this in general are
patient, willing and have the power to extend grace. I believe the only way we
can extend these good virtues are if we’ve received them for ourselves. The
most loving person of all must know you better then you know yourself, have all
wisdom and complete understanding… of course I’m talking about God. This is why God can love us so
completely but we can only love him partly. We just don’t have total omniscience, wisdom and the understanding
to do any better. I believe this
is what God is teaching us through his Holy Sprit day to day, to know Him is to
Love Him. He has been Misunderstood more then any of us. My friend Darin Hufford, penned one of
the best books I’ve ever read called, The Misunderstood God. I loved every bit of it! I’ve been totally frustrated with God
and His ways at times and I’m certain I will go through this again, but so far
I just end up loving Him all the more after a hard trial, task or wilderness
season.
Identity
has been a huge issue in my life albeit to a fault at times. I’ve always wanted to know my self,
motives and purpose for life more than anything else. I’ve also sought to be perfectly known only to never
accomplish this and cause much frustration for myself. This is where grace and mercy must become
a strong force. To have true
intimacy is dangerous but can be tremendously rewarding. I believe in healthy boundaries, as my
personality tends to want to tell all, I’ve had to learn the hard way. Wisdom will guide us to guard our hearts
at times as well as teach us much more in regard to healthy boundaries,
especially those of us whose boundaries have been personally violated at any
given time. This is more then
likely all of us.
This
seems so sad for God because I don’t feel we people have the full capacity to
love Him completely. The verse 1
Corinthians 13 makes us realize that we will one day see him face to face and
be complete in our faith, hope and love! Then I believe we will love God
completely and for who He is! We will love Him so completely and so perfectly
because He will completely be known and understood by us! Mysteriously we will,
in a sense, be swallowed up and consumed by Love Himself.
I’m not so into being pure that
tends to make me religious, pious and fake but I’m into being real, this always
leads me to the truth and you know what that does right? Sets us Free! I used to be completely disconnected with my true feelings
for reasons that are deep, boring and dealt with for the most part, plus this
blog is not about all that healing stuff.
When I was disconnected I heard the Lord speak to me in my heart and
tell me to become connected to my real feelings. This was a long and often terrifying process but yet the
beginning of a real authentic relationship with God as well as myself. At first this didn’t help with other
relationships except the one I had with God but in the long run it’s been the
biggest reward in my life. As God
adds wisdom and more health to my life this journey seems to become even more fruitful!
Life can feel so hard sometimes and I’ve even blamed God for not understanding
me. LOL! That didn’t go over well
because I knew deep inside that this was a goofy thought. But He loves when we hash stuff out
with him with our true thoughts and feelings. He already knows what we are
thinking and feeling so its important we come to Him completely honest. He didn’t create robots but rather real
people, with real hearts, opinions and we’ve all been given each the same
amount of faith. It seems like the more connected I am to my true self, the
more connected I can be with God, just because I’m conversing on a pure and
honest level.
I suppose we just need to allow Him to take us by the hand
and keep walking with Him as He does the real work in us. Sometimes He has to
stop with us, wait with us, watch us turn the other direction and finally He
will often carry us too. I feel sad that I’ve caused my savior grief by not
trusting Him, even though I realize now, that He can not only handle it but
that He understands why I have acted the way I have. He walks with me and He
talks with me and tells me I am His own. It is good to be known so well and
still completely, totally and so lavishly loved at the same time!
